Gail Gilman, Family Life Consultant, M.Ed., C.F.C.S. and Professor
Emeritus, University of Minnesota
While caregivers are defined as the people taking care of those who need
help, they sometimes overlook the fact that caregiving responsibilities can
take a toll on their own health.
In addition to physical ailments, caregivers are at risk for depression.
Depression can strike anyone, at any age. Caregivers need to be especially
aware of depression because of the great load they carry. Many caregivers
work at a full-time job and take care of a family in addition to their
caregiving responsibilities. They often sacrifice their own health,
well-being, and social life in order to do everything that needs to be done.
One common denominator among caregivers is the desire and the belief that
they must do everything themselves. Often, caregivers do not ask for help,
opting instead to inadvertently play the part of the martyr. This leads the
caregiver to become overwhelmed, and an overwhelmed person is fertile ground
for depression to dig in and take root.
The great strain caregivers face on a daily basis can lead to depression.
One way to stop depression before it strikes is to be aware of the warning
signs.
Below are some red flags that depression might be creeping in:
* Sad, discouraged mood
* Persistent pessimism about the present, future and the past
* Loss of interest in work, hobbies, social life, and sex
* Difficulty in making decisions
* Lack of energy and feeling slowed down
* Restlessness and irritability
* Loss of appetite and loss of weight
* Disturbed sleep, especially early morning waking
* Depressive, gloomy, or desolate dreams
* Suicidal thoughts
If you feel yourself exhibiting these behaviors, do not discount them. They
should be taken as seriously as you might treat a fever that will not go
away or a persistent cough.
Following are some tips on what caregivers in particular can do to stop
depression before it gets out of control:
Talk regularly with family, friends, or mental health professionals. It is
very important that you do not isolate yourself. Join a local support group
or find one online. Share your feelings so they do not build up and
escalate into problems.
Set limits. This can be hard for caregivers, because they are used to
taking on everything that needs to be done. It is okay to say no to taking
on more than you can handle.
Eat nutritiously, exercise regularly and get enough sleep. This can be
difficult because of the irregular schedules caregivers must keep. But
think of it this way: your body and mind are machines, and they must be
properly maintained in order to function at their best. Nutritious food,
exercise, and sleep are the things that fuel these machines. Just as you
would not let your car run out of gas, do not let your body run out of its
fuel.
Let go of unrealistic expectations. Caregivers often have unrealistic
expectations of themselves and therefore push themselves to meet these
goals. Accept the fact that you cannot do everything. Ask for and accept
help, from friends, family, and local agencies. Whatever you do, do not be a
martyr.
Keep a sense of humor. We all know that laughter is the best medicine, so
go ahead and take a few spoonfuls daily. Relax with a funny movie or TV
show. Listen to a comedy program while you do your chores. Find the humor
in everyday things.