The excitement has built to a crescendo.\u00a0 Thousands are lined up at newsstands (whatever a newsstand is).\u00a0 Without further ado, here is the Annual Weeds Vacation Guide!\u00a0 Please, stay in line, no pushing and shoving.<\/p>\n
Once again we begin with a hearty recommendation to vacation Sleepy Eye.\u00a0 Sleepy Eye has a lake and a water park.\u00a0 A lake, a water park, and endless fun!\u00a0 I mention our lake and water park knowing that tragically there are places that don\u2019t have a lake and a water park.\u00a0 Some of these are cities not that far from Sleepy Eye, cities that consider themselves kind of a big deal.<\/p>\n
There was hope for these unfortunate places when our president promised during the campaign to, \u201cMake America Fun Again.\u201d\u00a0 He vowed to build a water park and dig a lake in every city in America.\u00a0 Crowds roared their approval when he announced that not only would every community have a lake and a water park, but that Canada would pay for it!\u00a0 (Don\u2019t ask me, I\u2019m still trying to figure out how we\u2019re getting Mexico to pay for a wall.)<\/p>\n
The House passed the \u201cAmerican Happiness Act!\u201d (AHA!).\u00a0 Then came the news that 23 million Americans would still be without a lake and a water park.\u00a0 The president said the bill was mean, and a new version got tied up in the Senate.\u00a0 Since, the president has turned his attention to\u2026oh look, a squirrel.<\/p>\n
So Sleepy Eye remains a top destination.\u00a0 When you\u2019re in the area, be sure to check out Brown County\u2019s other vacation mecca.\u00a0 I\u2019m talking about the grand old city of New Wallum, located at the confluence of those two great waterways, the Minnesota River and Ruheheim Creek.<\/p>\n
A trip to New Wallum is like a trip to the Old Country. \u00a0You know, the one our grandparents all left. \u00a0New Wallum embraces its German heritage, and if you doubt that, they\u2019ll gobsmack you over the head with it.\u00a0 New Wallumers are defiantly German. \u00a0New Wallum was originally settled by \u201cChermans.\u201d \u00a0Chermans are the most serious and stern branch of Germans.<\/p>\n
When you\u2019re talking about German tradition (ignoring those nasty little wars), you\u2019re talking about beer.\u00a0 When in New Wallum, be sure to hoist a tasty Mel\u2019s Beer.\u00a0 Mel\u2019s has been synonymous with New Wallum since its founding.\u00a0 It is the second oldest brewery in America owned by a guy named Mel.<\/p>\n
(Of course, we all know Mel\u2019s Brewery in New Wallum should be number one.\u00a0 Mel\u2019s Finest out in Schenectady was actually owned by a cousin named Stan for a while in the sixties when young Mel ran off to live in a van with some floozy flower child named Melodious.)<\/p>\n
The beloved brewery has survived all manner of plagues and pestilence.\u00a0 Mel\u2019s made it through Prohibition by selling soda pop, near beer, and some things out the back door and some other things out the cellar door.\u00a0 In anticipation of Prohibition\u2019s centennial, Mel\u2019s brew masters are working on a near beer they are calling Faux Beer.\u00a0 Faux Light will especially appeal to the health conscious.\u00a0 It will be an empty can.<\/p>\n
The hard-working brewers at Mel\u2019s are also excited about their new line of sauerkraut beers.\u00a0 A special off-site brewhouse had to be built because of the danger of the sauerkraut tainting the other Mel\u2019s beers.\u00a0 Melania IPA is another new offering honoring our nation\u2019s first lady.\u00a0 It is attractive yet mildly hoppy, a quiet beer that seems to be able to tolerate a lot of stupid behavior.<\/p>\n
Mel\u2019s fans are excited to know that Mel\u2019s Brewery looks to be in good hands for years to come.\u00a0 The owner, Mel, is bringing his three sons into the business: Melvin, Melton, and Melville.<\/p>\n
While a Mel\u2019s \u201cschmeckt gut\u201d any time, it is especially so during one of New Wallum\u2019s gala festivals.\u00a0 There is a long tradition of New Wallumers putting up a tent, cranking up the band, and festing till the wee hours of the morning!<\/p>\n
Many of us fondly recall Hereticfest.\u00a0 For years the fest grounds echoed the oompah-pah of old time music and the Mel\u2019s taps flowed steadily, as heretics from across the nation gathered.\u00a0 Heretics have been unfairly stereotyped as a stodgy, not-so-fun group.\u00a0 But they let loose every year at Hereticfest!\u00a0 When New Wallum\u2019s own Discord Singers took the stage at the end of the night, everyone was up and dancing.<\/p>\n