Family Living Focus: The Financial Side of Caregiving
Gail Gilman, Family Life Consultant, M.Ed., C.F.C.S. and Professor
Emeritus, University of Minnesota
Caregivers are amazing people. Most of them work very long hours, are under
incredible emotional pressure, and have little support. They want so badly
to do the very best for their loved one.
The following story was shared by a woman caring for her father who had been
diagnosed with Alzheimer’s a few years ago but was still able to live by
himself. Just recently, she had started checking on him more frequently, as
he was getting more forgetful. She would go by his house a couple of times
a week to bring food and visit with him.
One day, she stopped by and found a statement from his checking account on
the kitchen counter. It showed that his account was overdrawn by $15,000.
When she asked him about it, he told her he did not know what happened and
started to cry. He showed her some mail he had been receiving, and she was
surprised to find that he had been sending checks to a number of
“sweepstakes” companies.
After hours of research in his home and at the bank, she learned the
horrible truth of why her father’s account was overdrawn. It all started
when he responded to a sweepstakes offer and then was sent a letter
explaining that in order to receive his prize, he had to send in a check for
$25. Once he did this, his name must have been sold to other similar
companies as a multitude of “sweepstakes offers” began coming to his home.
Each one offered a big prize and told him to send in a check for $20-$30 to
pay “handling charges” so his prize could be sent out to him.
Some of these companies had even gained permission to draft funds directly
from his checking account. This caregiver was shocked to learn that anyone
would take advantage of someone like her father and angered to learn from
the law enforcement that this type of thing is common.
She tried to gently manage the problem by monitoring him more closely but
finally realized she needed to take over control of his mail to stop the
sweepstakes letters. The only way to do this was to re-route his mail to a
P.O. box and hand-deliver the mail to him daily. She hated taking away a
part of his independence but knew it was what she had to do.
Sadly, this story is all too common, but it can also be prevented. Here are
a few tips for caregivers who are responsible for monitoring finances:
* Create a simple budget, so you have an idea of your loved one’s
expenses each month. This way, if an unusual expense shows up (like an
unusually high utility bill), you will notice and know to question it.
* Monitor the mail. It is not unusual for loved ones to send money to
numerous charities without knowing anything about them.
* Have a power of attorney for finances. This will enable you to make
financial decisions in case your loved one is incapacitated.
* Document money that you spend, that belonged to the person you are
caring for. Start a journal or log and simply write down what you buy with
their resources. Even if your siblings currently trust you and are happy
with how you are managing things, do it. It will give you peace of mind,
and you will be able to show anyone who asks, “where the money went.”
